I’m laughing so hard at myself right now because how do you possibly review a book you’ve disrespected so much? You see, when I started Three Blind Dates it was already past midnight. On a school night. Hours of school during which I can’t doze off because, wellllllll, I’m the teacher??? Night before the first school day of 2018, and I dived. right. in.
Alright, now I guess I do see how terrible my decision-making has been, from the very beginning. But what can I say, I do own my fucks-up, so there : this review is not brought to you by a saw-the-light, changed-her-horrendous-ways Anna. Oh, no. This review is brought to you by the unapologetic Anna who’s skimmed large bunches of the book because she fucking could and who does not regret it from one second
… and still stamps a 4 stars on it because not to be cocky, but I rocked that skimming like a queen.
Okay okay what do you need to know about Three Blind Dates before diving in, you ask? Hmm. Noelie, the main character, who’s obviously single, because duh, agrees to go to three blind dates through that new shiny app whose name I don’t recall (I read at night, okay? God).
And one of them is the One.
I know I know I know laugh your damn full, no offense taken – I’m laughing right there with you. How could it be more ridiculous right? RIGHT?
Because you see, as much as Noelie connects with these three men – on different levels – there is always this little something that makes their relationship-to-be stumble.
~ mild spoilers, I suppose ~
(not sure about that at all – does not qualify as spoilery to me but I’m still getting YOU’VE RUINED MY CHILDHOOD! comments on one of my reviews so I might be a bit prudent, can you blame me)
(NO, I’m not telling you who she ends up with, Jeez.)
OkaysoSuitRebelJockSomethingSomething —But then, but then, BUT THEN, there’s a mystery man, I KID YOU NOT, who starts messaging her to try and get a second chance, in a true You’ve Got Mail manner (and not like this horrible “retelling” I’ve read last year, what was it, oh, yeah, Alex, Approximately, you fucker, I still want my time back, ugh). And it was FABULOUS – I smiled, I laughed, I felt, as a friend recently put it – I escaped. Now that’s what I want from my romance novels so why is it so hard to find? WHY? I mean in what possible way abusive assholes could be an escape, and no, strangling them and getting a few years in jail definitely does NOT count as an escape?? Jesus.
So what did I skim, then? Hmmmm. I’ll only say this : I’ve been wanting for the mystery guy to be a certain someone from the moment I met him and I really couldn’t care less for all the filler to get to him, soooooo… I went through a little heart-to-heart with myself, inspected my soul (I needed to be sure she was on board before committing this reading felony), looked at the clock (4 am, damn it!) and skimmed everything that didn’t seem relevant.
I know, I know, I’m bad. Like, really bad and I don’t deserve to be called a reviewer and no no no not the review police noooooo. I’M GUILTY BUT I HAVE A SOUL!!!! All this character development, to the trash. All these friendship moments crafted to be funny (but not so much for me, ugh, sorry), gone. I was a woman on a mission and mystery man I reached. In all honesty, I’m not even a slightly bit ashamed : I took what I wanted, what I needed from Three Blind Dates and in the end, I freaking loved it.
I was punished, though : after stopping at 70% (I suppose that as an adult – don’t snort – I felt like my two remaining hours of sleep were nonnegotiable) I obviously couldn’t fall asleep (yes, the next day was a bitch, thanks for asking). Yet what better end for a caffeine-filled, all kind of exhausting day that the last 30% of pure happiness? NO-THING.
Why, yes, I’m definitely going to start new books from Meghan Quinn. I guess I’ll have to watch the clock more closely, is all.
PS. If you end not liking mystery man, god, I’m sorry, let me offer you a big cup of good taste (I KID OKAY) (DON’T HATE ME) (BUT I’M SO RARELY ROMANTIC, I’M PROTECTIVE) (YES THE ENDING WAS CHEESY AS HELL SO W H A T)
PS2. I swear I’m not writing this review to prove I have a heart.